The other day I came across something very odd. I was walking along the sidewalk when I found myself having to step over to one side to avoid hitting a four-sided advertising obelisk, which was taking up a fair amount of space right at the corner of the intersection. A few blocks later, I found myself having to do the same thing, except this time it was a homeless person. I walked another block and thought, Eureka!
I recently met with several top engineers at NASA who are as we speak developing my idea for the next generation media services. Here’s a sneak peek at my top-secret idea.
We cross the homeless person with the advertising space. The homeless person can live inside the stationary four-sided advertising obelisk, shaped like a pyramid with a little opening at the top, big enough for a human head to pass through.
Not only does the homeless person benefit from pyramid energy, but he or she also has a means to an occupation. There’s enough room inside these spacious obelisks for one person, sitting upright in a comfortable chair.
It will be air-conditioned in the summer and heated in the winter, using an internal power generator. Take a look inside. The constant pedaling action of the homeless person spins these chains, which rotates this axle, which then feeds into this contraption here, which converts the motion into energy.
This is unbelievable. Why haven’t we thought of this before? This is brilliant. Please tell us some more.
The client’s ad will be placed on all four panels, as usual, but on the back, there’s space to advertise the success of this methodology. We’ll use little slogans such as, - Hey look, I have a home!
We may reuse popular ones like, - Thanks, your money got to me! As well, there will be space allotted to pictures of missing children and wanted criminals.
I also have several models which house and occupy not only homeless people but also mentally sick people who walk the streets. Since the mentally ill patient/occupant will be walking around with the advertising container, there will be a sur-charge depending on their roving capabilities. All proceeds go to the Helping Ourselves To Your Cash Foundation. Can we show this picture? Like they say, a picture says a thousand words.
No picture? We'll have to use our collective memory. A while ago, there was ad campaign, which I think managed to illustrate the point. Remember the heart-wrenching image of a small child with a torn blanket wrapped around him? He was sitting on the sidewalk. He looked sick, hungry and very sad and the caption read, - How bad does it have to get before you care?
Didn't it make you want to reach out and help him instantly? You’re not the only one. Studies carried out at Stanford prove that people respond to pronounced signs of abject poverty. So every so often, a small transistor will deliver a painful jolt to the homeless/occupant’s spinal cord. Causing the visible portion of their bodies, mainly the face, to skew in pain.